Talkin' 'bout My Girl

I know it's Friday, but I'm not going to flashback today. I have something much more fun to show you. My daughter (who is still in Portland) has a whole new look! Behold: the before and after...

Talking to Strangers

The other day when my mom, nephew, daughter and I were waiting in line to get into the pool, a young man (early 20's) walked up to get in line. His t-shirt design managed to insult a prominent religious figure, use foul language, and reference alcohol all at the same time. I was disgusted. It wasn't just the fact that he was wearing a shirt like that, but that he obviously had so little a sense of social responsibility that he chose to wear it to a place where there would most certainly be hundreds of little kids.

In retrospect, I wish I had gone up to him and said something. Maybe he would have turned his shirt inside out. Or perhaps he would have used the language of his shirt on me. But, while he might never have let me know it, it would have at least made him think about his choices. If I had used the right words, maybe he would even have grown up just a little bit more that day. I regret not speaking up.

The day before, Grayson and I were sitting out on the walking mall while Hannah was in the candy shop. Nearby was a young teenage boy whom Hannah & I had met before through a mutual friend, playing his violin for tips. It was painful to listen to. Not because he couldn't play, or even because he was playing wrong notes. No, what made this painful to listen to was that the boy had no sense of timing. In fact, he played each song as if every note were a quarter note, and all the rests had been removed.

Grayson and I talked about it for awhile, and then he said, "Why don't you go tell him?" I paused for a minute and then replied, "Because I don't care enough. Is that bad?" And I don't regret saying nothing to that boy.

As I explained to Grayson, it is my opinion that if you give someone advice or direction, you take on a certain amount of responsibility for that person. Not that you are responsible for whether or not they follow through on your advice, but just a certain amount of relationship occurs between you and anyone you give advice to. Particularly the unsolicited kind. I am very wary of giving unsolicited opinions. I may give an unsolicited opinion on something besides you (which is probably worse), but I am not likely to tell you what to do unless you ask.

It's not too terribly difficult for me to know when it's important enough to speak up and when it's probably okay (or even better) to keep your mouth shut. Where I run into trouble is following through on it. I knew I should have said something to the t-shirt man. I knew it before I left the pool, and I'm not sure why I didn't do it. I'm not shy, and I'm not afraid to speak my mind when the situation demands it. Unfortunately, I think I have to conclude that I was being lazy. Ignoring him was certainly a much easier thing to do. And that's the worse reason of all not to do something.

So that's it! It's time I "upped" my care quotient and I intend to not let an opportunity like that pass me by another time.

Tarts, Toes and Trips

Well! Where do I start?
Sunday night my mother and nephew arrived from Portland! Mom brought some gorgeous Oregon berries with her, and look what we made.

Nice, huh? And the most delicious tart I've made to date.

We took the kids around town for all sorts of fun, but we didn't neglect ourselves. While they were at the pool Wednesday afternoon, Mom treated the two of us to pedicures. What fun to have a pedicure with someone else!


This morning, Mom and Grayson left... and took Hannah with them. Hannah's first trip away from us will be (at least) two weeks in Portland with the Hodges side of the family. I know she'll have a blast, but we are sure going to miss her!

Walk! (personality) Talk! (personality)

Do any of you remember testing new personalities when you were younger? I've been watching my daughter do that for a few years now. "I'm a tomboy - you can't tell I'm a girl and I never cry. In fact, I may beat you up." "I'm a geek. I always have my nose in a book and I'm learning to speak Greek." "I'm outgoing, crazy and relentlessly random. One dose of sugar and you should be afraid of me."

I love watching her try on a new personality like a hat for awhile, only to doff it in favor of a new one a few months later. I consider it a healthy side-effect of her continuing effort to discover her "true self". One time she was doing something, I don't know what, that had me concerned. I'm thinking it was back in her tomboy days and she was being really defensive so as not to show any 'weakness'. "Just be yourself!" I was telling her, and she replied, "Everyone always tells you to be yourself, but would someone please tell me who that is?! If I KNEW who I was, then I could be myself!"

I remember doing the very same thing as a teenager. Am I a dumb blonde? Am I a dramatic thespian who's constantly being creative? Am I the quiet girl? (That one lasted for about a week after I heard the saying, "Still waters run deep.") Am I the missionary kid who tells people about Jesus? Or the missionary kid who rebels and runs wild?

While the personas aren't nearly so varied or dramatic, I still to this day find myself wondering who I am really. By this time I've figured out what I like and what I don't like. And for the most part I feel like I am "true to myself" in my daily life. But I find myself wondering how others view me, and if I should do something to change that.

Oftentimes when I do something goofy (as I've been known to do) I get the comment, "I can't believe you did that! You're always so proper!" And I think, Me? Proper? Why would someone think I was proper? But some people do! And it seems so contrary to how I view myself. Perhaps on the inside I feel like a blundering goofball, but on the outside I must somehow be maintaining a facade of dignified behavior. And then the question is, should I be letting more of my goofiness out so no one mistakes me for proper, or should I stop with the goofiness altogether? Which begs the question, does our behavior always have to reconcile with who we are or who we THINK we are? --Phew!-- I can't think about that one too much, or I'll really start questioning everything I do and say.

So all this makes me wonder about 2 more things: What things I think about myself that are simply not true. (For example, ever met someone who insists they're easygoing and flexible when all the evidence points to the contrary?) -and- What mistakes I make when I form opinions about other people.

I'm going to have to come back to this subject...

Flashback Friday 1942

Since it's almost Father's Day, I thought it appropriate that this Friday's flashback include my dad.

From right to left is my dad Wayne, his twin brother Willie, and his older brother Ron with their dad Harold. This picture was probably taken before church up in north central Montana. Aren't they cute in their Sunday best?! And Grandpa looks so handsome.